Do you and your teens know about a meningoccal vaccine they should be getting?

Last week the American Academy of Pediatrics released a study that will be in the September issue of “Pediatrics” that found that doctors aren’t talking to their teens and their parents or young adults about getting the serogroup B meningoccal vaccine.

That vaccine was recommended by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Advisory Committee on Immunication Practices in 2015 for people age 16 to 23.

Live Oak Health Partners Community Clinic LVN Donna Donica  vaccinates a student for back to school at the Live Oak clinic in San Marcos in 2017. Teens need vaccines, too.
RICARDO B. BRAZZIELL/AMERICAN-STATESMAN

What researchers found was that only 51 percent of pediatricians mentioned the vaccine to patients in this age range and only 31 percent of family practice doctors mentioned it. The good news was that when doctors talked about it, 91 percent of them recommended it to their patients. Doctors were more likely to recommend it when there was a disease outbreak or incident of the disease locally.

What other vaccines do kids need? Here is the current school vaccination schedule:

Kindergarten-Sixth Grade

Diphtheria/Tetanus/Pertussis: four or five doses depending on which version your kid got.

Polio: four or three doses

Measles, Mumps and Rubella: two doses

Hepatitis B: three doses

Varicella: two doses

Hepatitus A: two doses

Seventh graders

All of the above, plus

Diphtheria/Tetanus/Pertussis: three doses of the primary series plus a booster within the last five years

Meningococcal: one dose

Eighth- throught 12-graders

All of the above, but if the diptheria/tetanus/pertussis shot has not been given in the last 10 years, a booster is needed.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention also recommends these vaccines for the 11-year-old or 12-year-old check up:

  • HPV vaccine
    Human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccine helps protect against HPV infections that cause cancer. For kids age 9-14, it’s two doses, one six months to a year after the first. For kids 15 or older, it’s three doses, the second one to two months after the first; the third, six months after the first.
  • Quadrivalent meningococcal conjugate vaccine
    Quadrivalent meningococcal conjugate vaccine protects against some of the bacteria that can cause infections of the lining of the brain and spinal cord (meningitis) and bloodstream infections (bacteremia or septicemia). These illnesses can be very serious, even fatal. It recommends one dose at 11.
  • Tdap vaccine
    Tdap vaccine provides a booster to continue protection from childhood against three serious diseases: tetanus, diphtheria, and pertussis (also called whooping cough).
  • Flu vaccine
    Preteens and teens should get a flu vaccine every year, by the end of October if possible. It is very important for preteens and teens with chronic health conditions like asthma or diabetes to get the flu shot, but the flu can be serious for even healthy kids.

RELATED: FluMist will be back this year

The CDC recommends this vaccine at the 16-year check up:

  • A second dose of meningococcal ACWY
  • meningococcal B vaccine.

 

Want to have a great school year? Follow these teachers’ advice

Some kids around Central Texas started school this week. Others start next week or the week after.

We’ve already shared what advice teachers have for parents at the start of the school year, but what about the rest of the year?

Mirielle Badgley-Finan and Avery Knox are excited about school starting. Now let’s keep that excitement all year long. LYNDA M. GONZALEZ / AMERICAN-STATESMAN

Here’s what they suggest:

Avoid being overscheduled. Before signing up for many after-school activities, see what you can handle with school. Try to avoid late evening extracurriculars. Sleep is important.

RELATED: How to help shy, introverted kids go back to school

Have a backpack and binder cleaning out party regularly. Consider doing it whenever we have a school holiday or at the start of a new grading period.

Establish positive communication with teachers, parents. Read the regular emails and notes your child’s teachers sends. Ask questions but not in an accusatory way.

RELATED: Parents want to hear more from teachers, teachers want to hear more from parents

Look for ways you can help teachers. Does that teacher need help copying papers or cutting things for an upcoming project? Ask how you can help, even if you can’t be at school during daytime hours.

Attend as many school activities as possible. If you can, chaperone a field trip. Come to games and performances. Be that embarrassing fan in the stand cheering for your kid, just don’t undermine the coach or director.

RELATED: What does your school nurse want to know?

Give teachers praise. Like something that the teacher did for your child or the rest of the class? Parents and students always can drop teachers a handwritten note or an email. ‘Thank you” goes a long way. Think about nominating a particularly great teacher for an award.

Get to know the staff at your school. The principal and vice-principals, the secretaries, the counselors all can be good allies to have.

RELATED: What to ask on Meet the Teacher night?

RELATED: How to take a great first day of school photo?

Sources: Inez Flores, Mills Elementary; Erica Green, Kiker Elementary; Juli Naranjo, Cowan Elementary; Beth Ann Cole, Boone Elementary; Lori Pearce, Fulmore Middle School; Nancy Stewart, Cedar Park Middle School; Katherine Ratcliffe, Kealing Middle School; Jo Patrick, Fulmore Middle School.

RELATED: Sending a kid off to college? Follow these tips

Back to school: Are your child’s vaccinations current?

Every year, there are kindergarten and seventh-grade parents ready to send their kids off for the first day of school who have to turn around and head to the doctor’s office. Either they need proof of vaccination or they are missing a required vaccination or the exemption form to opt out of vaccines (which is never a good idea unless there’s a medical reason. At the University of Texas, we’ve had cases of mumps in recent year because of the lack of vaccinations.).

 

LVN Tanya Roland vaccinates Fatima Wolfe, the 1-year-old daughter of Jordan Wolfe, at the Shots for Tots vaccination clinic at St. John’s Community Center. JAY JANNER / AMERICAN-STATESMAN

Don’t get caught missing a vaccine or without your paperwork. Find your children’s shot records and make sure they are in compliance with the 2018-2019 school vaccination schedule:

Kindergarten-Sixth Grade

Diphtheria/Tetanus/Pertussis: four or five doses depending on which version your kid got.

Polio: four or three doses

Measles, Mumps and Rubella: two doses

Hepatitis B: three doses

Varicella: two doses

Hepatitus A: two doses

Seventh graders

All of the above, plus

Diphtheria/Tetanus/Pertussis: three doses of the primary series plus a booster within the last five years

Meningococcal: one dose

Eighth- throught 12-graders

All of the above, but if the diptheria/tetanus/pertussis shot has not been given in the last 10 years, a booster is needed.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention also recommends these vaccines for the 11-year-old or 12-year-old check up:

  • HPV vaccine
    Human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccine helps protect against HPV infections that cause cancer. For kids age 9-14, it’s two doses, one six months to a year after the first. For kids 15 or older, it’s three doses, the second one to two months after the first; the third, six months after the first.
  • Quadrivalent meningococcal conjugate vaccine
    Quadrivalent meningococcal conjugate vaccine protects against some of the bacteria that can cause infections of the lining of the brain and spinal cord (meningitis) and bloodstream infections (bacteremia or septicemia). These illnesses can be very serious, even fatal. It recommends one dose at 11.
  • Tdap vaccine
    Tdap vaccine provides a booster to continue protection from childhood against three serious diseases: tetanus, diphtheria, and pertussis (also called whooping cough).
  • Flu vaccine
    Preteens and teens should get a flu vaccine every year, by the end of October if possible. It is very important for preteens and teens with chronic health conditions like asthma or diabetes to get the flu shot, but the flu can be serious for even healthy kids.

RELATED: FluMist will be back this year

The CDC recommends this vaccine at the 16-year check up:

  • A second dose of meningococcal ACWY

The Society for Adolescent Health and Medicine recommends this vaccines at the 16-year check up:

  • meningococcal B vaccine.

RELATED: Back to school to-do list: Schedule doctor visit for vaccines, sports physicals

Think your child doesn’t need to be vaccinated. Dr. Don Murphey, an infectious disease specialist at Dell Children’s Medical Center of Central Texas, who has been treating infectious disease in Texas children for almost a quarter of a century, explained to us last school why vaccines are so important.

Last year he saw seen mumps cases, like the ones at UT, come into Dell Children’s. Last year by August, Texas had more than 200 cases. “Before 2000, we had almost no cases of mumps,” he says.

He’s also seen in recent years more measles, whooping cough, pneumococcal meningitis and Haemophilus influenzae type b meningitis.

What’s going on here?

We’re seeing what doctors have been seeing in Europe, especially France and the United Kingdom, but on a smaller scale, Murphey says. The rates of mumps and measles in particular skyrocketed there after “The Lancet” medical journal published a 1998 study by Dr. Andrew Wakefield that it later had to retract. Wakefield lost his license because of it.

Wakefield’s study found a link to autism from the measles-mumps-rubella vaccine. Multiple studies including those funded by plantiff’s lawyers who were looking for a link found no-such link. What happens, though, is that the MMR vaccine is given around the same time — about 12 months to 15 months — as when many kids with autism start to show signs.

Yet, the misinformation and the fear of vaccines persisted. Parents in Europe stopped vaccinating and Europe no longer had the “herd” immunity that happens when at least 90 percent to 95 percent of the population are vaccinated against a disease.

Diseases like measles and mumps that we just didn’t see are happening again. We rely on the herd immunity to protect us. You see these vaccines are not fool-proof, and they have waning effects. In the case of the students at UT, even if college students have been vaccinated as children but are exposed to mumps now, they might not be fully immune and get it.

Murphey says the mumps vaccine we use “is a very safe one. It doesn’t cause any meningitis,” he says. “It works great for herd immunity, but it doesn’t work if you’re exposed.”

If you do get mumps, it isn’t the worst thing most of the time. You get a fever, you feel bad for a few days, he says. Boys can also get an infection in their testes and girls in their ovaries. What is scary is that mumps can lead to meningitis and deafness.

While mumps is not a terrible disease, we could avoid the whole thing, if people who can get immunized do get immunized, he says.

For parents who are considering or are using an alternative vaccine schedule and delaying vaccines, Murphey encourages them not to. “Alternative schedules have never been shown to be any safer,” he says.

By delaying vaccines, you’re not protecting the most vulnerable population, who can get the most sick from these disease — infants and small children. They end up in the hospital or worse.

“You want to start protecting those kids as soon as possible,” Murphey says.

Vaccinate, please, if not for your own child, but for the other children.

Sending a kid off to college? Follow professors’ advice for an easier transition

Across the country for the next two months, anxious parents are moving their equally anxious kids into their first dorm rooms or apartments. What should first-time college kids know about this next year?

We asked professors at three local colleges what advice they would give first-time students. Here are their thoughts:

Create a routine. Make sure it is a sustainable one that will make it through the whole school year. Routine becomes a part of you. Going back to school doesn’t mean changing the way you live; it means adapting the way you should live to be your best self.

Take care of yourself. Schedule time for reading, thinking, recreating, exercising, connecting with friends and family and tending to the spiritual, if that’s meaningful to you.

Maxwell Gaddy, from Midland gets help from his father Chris and sister Jenna, 16, moving into Duran Residence Hall at theUniversity of Texas at Austin in 2016.
RALPH BARRERA/AMERICAN-STATESMAN 2016

Don’t sacrifice social life. Make time for it.

Make time for being alone — especially if you’re in a dorm or busy apartment complex. School can be overwhelming with the amount of people around all the time. Alone time is essential.

Get academic direction. Professors have office hours for you to use them. If those times don’t work, make an appointment with your professors. Students who meet with their professors tend to have better grades. It shows professors that they care about their education. Even if you don’t have a question, you can meet with the professor for one-on-one discussion of the material.

RELATED: How to talk to your professors

Don’t wait to challenge a grade or ask for help. Often students wait until the last few weeks of the semester, when it feels almost too late. It also makes professors question if it’s only about the grade and not about learning the material.

RELATED: Kid not making it in college? Why a generation comes home

Take advantage of tutoring opportunities. Learn what academic resources are available and how to access them.

Know what mental health resources are available and how to access them. When you’re in crisis, you might have difficulty sorting that out. Discover those resources before the crisis begins.

RELATED: Looking at colleges? Are you asking about mental health services?

Meet with the disabilities office. If you have a qualifying disability like autism or anxiety, low vision or hearing impairment, connect with the disabilities office before school begins. Also inform teachers of your needs that first week of school.

Your parents’ helicopter days are over. They should not be calling professors or helping you with homework. You have fled the nest, Little Birdy. It’s time to fly.

RELATED: Sending a kid off to college, helicopter parent? Now’s the time to land and let your kid take off

RELATED: How to make the transition to empty nest

RELATED: Have a kid going off to college? Read these books

Sources: Kevin Robbins, University of Texas; Jena Heath, St. Edward’s University; Beth Bernstein, Texas State University; and Jena Heath, St. Edward’s University.

Back to school: Reflections on lessons still to learn as son heads into senior year

We have hit the home stretch — that final year of grade school. Senior year of high school.

How did this happen?

Wasn’t it just yesterday that my husband and I dropped 5-year-old Benjamin off at his kindergarten classroom and stood outside the doorway trying to see what was going on while hoping he didn’t see us?

We’ve done it all: parent-teacher conferences, trips to the principal’s office, field trips, clubs, science fairs, impossibly challenging projects that had us cursing teachers’ names, tests failed, tests aced, school performances that had us beaming with pride.

Now, in this senior year, I can’t help thinking about all the things we still need to teach him. We thought we had more time.

RELATED: Taking a kid to college this month, read this

Luckily, this year Benjamin is actually taking a class called “How to Be an Adult,” because in between physics and calculus, sometimes real life skills take a back seat.

RELATED: Why college kids are coming back home sick

So, for Ben, here’s my list of things to learn this year:

Benjamin Villalpando holds up his learners permit after getting it earlier this year. Nicole Villalpando/Austin-American-Statesman

1. How to drive. Yes, you have a permit, and, yes, we practice, but in this world where Uber is at the touch of your fingertips, you’re not really seeing the point. And you’re not alone. A lot of your classmates aren’t licensed drivers either. Dude, it’s a life skill. Let me help you get it.

2. How to manage money. Debit cards, credit cards, checking accounts, that’s all something that happens in theory. This year we’re moving beyond the savings account to having a checking account with a debit card to practice working within a budget before college next year.

3. How to advocate for your own medical care. It’s time to practice how to make a doctor’s appointment, refill medication and use the insurance card. Mom needs to ease out of being the medical manager.

Ben Villalpando couldn’t wait to start kindergarten in 2006. Now he’s looking at colleges. Nicole Villalpando/American-Statesman

4. How to feed yourself. Yes, you’re a wiz at making cookies, sandwiches and frozen pizza. Let’s try to expand those chef skills.

5. How to clothe yourself. Hooray, you finally mastered the washer and dryer, but shockingly, we haven’t really had you go shopping for clothes. Why? Because you hate it. But it’s time to head to the store, pick out your size and try things on, and then buy them with your debit card. Maybe if you knew how much those jeans cost, they wouldn’t be on the floor all the time.

6. How to read a map and navigate public transportation. If Mom or Dad have always driven you everywhere, can you find your way? Next year at college will you be able to get from your dorm to class, to the grocery store or anywhere else you might want to go?

7. How to have a conversation. In this world of texting, let’s make sure you can talk to people, make eye contact and be comfortable talking to a stranger. (Yes, I know we told you never to talk to strangers, but now you’re going to have to.)

8. How to advocate for yourself to get something fixed. If you have an issue with a store, a professor, a service provider, your dorm room, will you know how to effectively state your case and ask for what you need? Mom or Dad won’t be there to do it for you next year.

9. How to manage your time. That nice alarm that wakes you up every morning with a kiss? That won’t be coming to your dorm room. Nor will the reminder service that tells you to get off your phone and do your homework. You’ll have to do it yourself. Senior year is a great year to build up these skills.

10. How to access resources. If you had a problem, would you know where to turn? If Mom or Dad are the only ones with the power to Google or ask a school administrator what is available to you, what will happen next year? Will you be able to find academic counseling services, tutoring, or even know what the weather is going to be like that day and what clothing is appropriate?

I’m sure there is more to consider, more to teach and more to learn. This time next year, you’ll be off on a new adventure. And that will be wonderfully exciting  —and a little bit scary, too. Good luck, sweet Ben.

Equal pay for equal chores? Parents send girls a message early

Busy Kid, an app that helps parents assign chores to their kids, analyzed how parents assigned chores on its app and how much they paid their kids for those chores. What it found was that of the top 20 chores, boys were getting paid about twice as much as girls.

Pay inequity starts early, apparently.

Are your kids helping to wash the dishes? About three-fourths are not. LemiShine

In your house, how are you assigning chores? How are you deciding how much to pay for them?

Wendy Mogel, a Los Angeles psychologist who wrote “Voice Lessons for Parents: What to Say, How to Say It, and When to Listen” ($27, Simon & Schuster), talked to us about the importance of chores earlier this year. She would love for parents to start their children on chores from the time they are little. “They can’t pay rent or the mortgage, and they can’t drive, but there are a lot of things they can do that you are doing for them,” she says.

What happens when kids don’t have chores? “It makes you tired, it makes you resentful, and you won’t have patience.”

A lot of parents must have run out of patience. One study found that 75 percent of kids didn’t have any assigned chores. 

Chores also can help cut down on sibling rivalry. Kids feel like they are part of the family. You can also create a chore chart in which the chores rotate so that there is a fairness about who gets to do the icky dishes and who gets to take out the stinky dishes. One friend with two kids had a system in which odd days of setting and clearing the table were assigned to the first child, even days were assigned to the second child. If a month had 31 days, the chores were assigned to Mom.

Remember, giving kids chores now, sets them up for an easier time adulting when the time comes. San Antonio psychiatrist Melissa Stennett Deuter talked to us about the phenomenon of kids coming home from college because of anxiety. Many of them in high school were high achievers who excelled at school and extracurriculars, but had didn’t know how to do a lot of real-world things. “We have kids who reach adulthood, and they really have no confidence in themselves; … they have limited skills,” she says.

Don’t forget that when you assign chores and kids earn an allowance, some should be saved for something big, some should be something you donate and some should be available for spending. You can get whole piggy banks that divide the allowance for you. E

 

Austinite Cristal Glangchai’s new book ‘VentureGirls’ takes kids beyond STEM to entrepreneurship

Austinite and University of Texas graduate Cristal Glangchai founded VentureLab to teach kids how to think like entrepreneurs using science technology engineering and math skills, and now she’s turned her work with kids into a book “Venture Girls: Raising Girls to be Tomorrow’s Leaders.” (Harper, $16.99)

Cristal Glangchai wrote “Venture Girls” based on her work as the founder of VentureLab. (Harper, $16.99)

Glangchai knows a thing or two about being an entrepreneur. She has a doctorate from UT in among other things biomedical engineering. She started a tech company using nanoparticles to deliver medications to diseased tissue, and then was the director of the Center for Entrepreneurship and Innovation at Trinity University in San Antonio. She started VentureLab in 2013 to bring her love of trying new things, learning from failure and getting messy to kids, especially girls in the form of camps.

Related: Activities to keep kids thinking this summer

The book is her way of helping parents understand why encouraging kids to be entrepreneurs is important as well as giving them activities for the encouraging.

“I really wanted to give parents a practical way to empower their kids through the entrepreneurial mindset,” she says.

The book is also full of research that has been done on girls and STEM and how kids learn in general, which is different than what they might be learning in school. Instead of teaching kids how to do well on tests, Glangchai is big on teaching kids how to think, how to be inquisitive, make a hypothesis, do research and work to solve a problem.

One statistic she loves is that 65 percent of kids in primary school won’t have jobs that we can imagine. “We have to teach kids to take ideas and make it real,” she says.

Her concern is that if we give kids only those “hard skills” that have only one answer, if we don’t teach them how to think outside the box, they might struggle at transitioning to the new job market.

“It’s the softer skills they need to be learning,” she says.

There’s a lot of focus on girls in STEM right now. We know that in elementary school, girls tend to outperform boys in science and math skills, but then in middle school and high school girls start to fall behind the boys in the class.

Some of that might be the way we teach STEM classes. Girls are motivated by a desire to help people to solve problems. Glangchai, herself, wanted to be a firefighter as a kid because of this desire to help people, not because of the science of fire. Men and boys, she says, tend to be driven by the idea of innovation or the idea of growing in power and leadership. That’s why, as a study showed, girls do better in algebra when it’s taught as a word problem versus a straight equation.

“Women are slowly making progress,” in going into STEM fields, she says, “We want to get passed STEM. Entrepreneurship helps create confident women leaders in any field.”

Glangchai advocates for teaching entrepreneurship in schools. Some schools are really good on hands-on learning, but many are not. She likens it to coding, which took about a decade to become a regularly offered class.

Entrepreneurship is also good for boys, too. Kids do well when you take them out of their comfort zones and allow them to fail. “We’re teaching kids to be curious as opposed to being afraid,” she says.

Parents can be a big part of raising young entrepreneurs, she says. “Instead of saying to their daughters: ‘don’t get your dress dirty, don’t go play in the mud,’ tell them, ‘to be adventurous, to go out and explore.’ It’s a different way of raising their daughter.”

The book gives parents many different ideas of things you can do to encourage entrepreneurship and out-of-the-box thinking. It’s things like making edible play dough, trying different formulas of slime, rethinking the ordinary Oreo or pizza slice by changing out one thing at a time.

Here are a couple activities that Glangchai especially loves and does with her own four children:

SCAMPER with Oreos

What you need:

Pen and paper

Oreo or like cookies, other food items in your pantry or fridge

Directions:

Think about a sandwich-style cookie like an Oreo. Examine one.

Start brainstorming what you could do with it. Write down your ideas.

Then SCAMPER

Substitute: What could you change out about this cookie? The cream? The cookie? What with?

Combine: What could you combine with the cookie to make something new?

Adapt: How could you adapt or adjust this product?

Modify: How could you change the shape, the look, the feel of the product?

Put to another use: How could you use the product for another purpose?

Eliminate: What parts could you remove?

Reverse/rearrange: How could you change the design of the cookie?

Then you get to try out making something new with your Oreo cookies and your items in the kitchen.

Repurposed Legos

What you need:

Leftover Legos

Pen and paper

Cardboard box

Zip-top bag

Directions:

Imagine what you could do with leftover Legos. Draw out a new design.

Gather your Legos and experiment with different ones in your design.

Create step-by-step guide with pictures of your design on the cardboard. Make it look like the designs and instructions you get when you buy Legos.

Put the Legos and the design guide in a zip-top bag.

Then you can promote and market and sell your designs.

In June, Glangchai will be offering a workbook that will have one activity for each of the 52 weeks of the year that families can do together. The RISE (Raising & Inspiring Successful Entrepreneurs) workbook will be on Glangchai’s website, venturelab.org.

 

“Venture Girls” Book Release

Cristal Glangchai will be talking about her book and offering an entrepreneurial activity for families to try.

The Refinery, 612 Brazos St.

5:30-7:30 p.m. Wednesday

venturelab.org

Texas psychiatrist shares why a generation of college kids and 20-somethings are stuck at home

San Antonio psychiatrist Melissa Stennett Deuter noticed a common theme in many of the patients who were coming to see her. They were all young adults who had done fine or better than fine in high school. They went off to college and then they came home. They were given a diagnosis of anxiety or depression.

Their parents gave them space and time. Then months passed. They weren’t back in school. Often, they weren’t working or leaving the house. Everyone was frustrated, and they came to see her.

“If the plan is: this person is depressed and wait (until they are ready), more than half don’t get up,” she says.

San Antonio psychiatrist Melissa Stennett Deuter wrote “Stuck in the Sick Role: How Illness Becomes an Identity” about what happens to kids when they fail as young adults.

“They came to a set point and do the least amount that they had to do,” Deuter says. If someone else is willing to take care of you, wouldn’t you let them and not do for yourself?, she asks.

Her book, “Stuck in the Sick Role: How Illness Becomes an Identity,” tries to explain why this is happening and gives parents a guide to getting their now-adult kids on the path to being productive again.

“I see a lot of young people who are not seriously ill, not in the way they are afraid they are,” she says.

Instead, she says, “The reason he’s not getting a job is because he’s afraid and doesn’t know how. He’s never gotten a job.”

RELATED: Sending a kid off to college in the fall, helicopter parent? Now’s the time to land and let your kid take off

The world for these young adults has changed. We have emphasized academics. We have limited their unsupervised time. We have not given them life skills.

“We have kids who reach adulthood, and they really have no confidence in themselves; … they have limited skills,” she says.

“Stuck in the Sick Role: How Illness Becomes an Identity,” by Melissa Stennett Deuter

They go off to college because they are told everyone has to go to college, even if they are not ready. It’s much different than they think it’s going to be. They look depressed, but they’re not incapacitated, Deuter says.

“The problem is that their life plan isn’t working out,” she says.

They are stressed and they are exhausted. They probably aren’t clinically depressed, she says.

Yet, they are given a diagnosis and given medication. The medication they are being given, she says, can’t solve the fact that they need help building skills and regaining their confidence.

There’s a danger in taking medications that you don’t really need, she says, because the risks outweigh the benefits.

One of those risks is that you begin to believe that depression is your problem. “Now the story you’re telling yourself is that you’re sick, very, very sick, when in fact that the reason why the medication isn’t working is because you’re not sick enough for the medication to work,” she says.

It changes the young adult’s whole identity. Instead of being that successful person they saw themselves in high school, they see themselves as a sick person.

We can prevent this by preparing kids for life better, not just for academics. That means in those high school years, we don’t give their busy academic or extracurricular schedule as the reason why they can’t do the adult things such as being able to feed themselves, do their own laundry, handle a budget, do chores around the house, and maybe have a job.

RELATED: How to move from high school to college for you and your teen

“If I’m raising a teenager who is going off to college in a couple of years, if he can’t get out of bed on his own and can’t prepare a meal, where’s that going to go in a couple of years?” she asks.

That adult life stuff is all things they can be doing under their parents’ watchful eyes but without parents doing it for them. It’s better to let them fail when they are still high-schoolers living at home, than in college far from home, Deuter says.

For parents who have that kid who has come home and now doesn’t seem to be making any progress getting a job or even getting out of bed, Deuter recommends parents set limits as soon as they get home (or now, if they already are stuck).

  • Set a time by which they have to either be re-enrolled in college or have a job.
  • If the choice is to have a job, but stay at home, make them pay rent.
  • Expect them to have chores around the house.
  • Require that they go to sleep when normal people go to sleep and be up during normal waking hours.
  • Stop doing everything for them.

Little by little they will have success at a job or having some form of responsibility. They will want to leave the house again, though it might not be back to school. College isn’t for everyone,and it isn’t for everyone at age 18.

RELATED: Professor offers tips on how students should talk to professors