Thanks “Fifty Shades” for this conversation with my 11-year-old

Dakota Johnson, left, and Jamie Dornan appear in a scene from the film, "Fifty Shades of Grey."  (AP Photo/Universal Pictures and Focus Features)
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Dakota Johnson, left, and Jamie Dornan appear in a scene from the film, "Fifty Shades of Grey." (AP Photo/Universal Pictures and Focus Features)
Dakota Johnson, left, and Jamie Dornan appear in a scene from the film, "Fifty Shades of Grey."  (AP Photo/Universal Pictures and Focus Features)

Dakota Johnson, left, and Jamie Dornan appear in a scene from the film, “Fifty Shades of Grey.” (AP Photo/Universal Pictures and Focus Features)

My daughter is just getting out of a 16-day hospital stay. Of course, at night, there was a lot of TV watching, not necessarily supervised. At the same time “Fifty Shades of Grey” and all of the promotional hype around it was everywhere.

So last night she asked these questions: “So, do you have a vibrator?” “Do you and Dad role play?”

Exactly how am I supposed to answer these questions? “None of your business” doesn’t really work with this kid. So, I put it in terms of why people would want a vibrator or to role play, but that the relationship of “Fifty Shades” is not what everyone does.

I’m so ready for this movie to go away so we can go back to our regularly scheduled program.


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